there but, why doesn't anyone else notice? Obviously, others can't see inside our minds or thoughts and know that decisions have been made - even decisions that will profoundly affect the future.I found out last Sunday that some of the folk at church who have the responsibility to deal with pastoral issues read the blog and were surprised by my comment that I thought there should be a change of pastors. I still feel that way. I think it's best for the church - forgetting the implications for Suzanne and me. It has nothing to do with being unhappy or anything else. We feel called to go to Asia as clearly as anything else we've felt before. I trust the process our Conference has for pastoral assignments. I believe the committee found God's direction in this, even though the conclusion isn't what many expected.
One of the fascinating things about how God works: we can clearly sense that God has been leading, pray faithfully and expectantly and God sometimes seems to turn things on their head. When we prayed with the committee on Thursday I felt God was taking us one particular direction. I think the committee did as well. After they read the last post they were confused and began to pray more. (It might be that I said something in writing that I wasn't able to communicate verbally.) They came to a unanimous decision to release us and that feels right. I have to admit that hearing the words kind of took my breath away, but it still felt right.
So, now we are on track to leave Colbert for Asia this Summer. All kinds of thoughts are going through our heads. We haven't moved in over 25 years. We will have to relearn how to pack, how to select "keepers" and "tossers" and things to sell. Where will we put our stuff while we're in Asia? What will we do about mail? Subscriptions? There are so many things to learn we're a little befuddled.
In seven months we're due to be on assignment in a new country. WOW! I've been "around the block" enough to know that period seems like a long time but isn't. I've already been asked about how much funding we'll have to raise for this year. I don't have a clue! When will we have a chance to do fundraising and still go on with our work at Colbert? How do we get ready to go and still do the rest of the things that need to be done in the church or in school without short-changing the people who pay our salaries?
Some of the things that I find myself thinking about is, "How do I want to leave things?" I've asked people to pray that I will "finish strong." I don't want to wimp out and quit. There are a number of things I'd like to see happen before we leave. There are people who've "flirted" with Jesus without "selling out" for him. I'd like to see those people get their act together and move ahead. There are others who've never made any pretense of faith. It would be more than exciting to see one (some?) of them make a decision for Christ. Well, let's just say that there have been a lot of things on hold that it would be great to see move forward in the next few months.
I have to admit, there is a sense of excitement about the move we're making. One of my friends talks about how impressed he is that we're willing to leave our assignment after so long and go so far. It's an adventure. I've told people for years to follow Christ. I've told them to walk by faith. I've challenged them to risk for God and watch him work. I guess it's my turn. If I would turn back at this point it I would be turning my back on the last 30 years of teachings. Either I believe it - Him - or I don't.
Several weeks ago I came across an item I wrote for the church newsletter a long time ago. It was called "Wing Walking With Jesus." I don't know how many of the "younger generations" ever saw the old dare-devils walking on the wings of airplanes as they soared above the amazed crowds. In some cases the dare-devils (Nuts?) were strapped in place, but not always. I don't remember the point I was trying to make with the article, but I feel that's what we're doing now.
We're trying to keep up with what the Lord is doing and where he's going. There are forces that are trying to knock us off our stance, but, by God's grace, we'll stay with Him.
I suppose I've used this post to deal with some "emotional baggage" rather than just muse. O well, it's my blog.
1 comment:
Yes, it is your blog, but to have a blog means that we all get to be a part of it. "Emotional baggage" is a good term to use. As a member of that pastor parish committee, I can tell you I have left some "baggage" in many places over the past week. Some with you and Suzanne, some with the superintendent and plenty with my wife and with our God.
The one thing that has been said in the past few days that has hit me hard was during a council meeting. You said that you have found that this is harder at times for some of the younger people in the church because they haven't been through it before. Well, there are a lot of people who fit into that group when you look at a 26 year time, but yes, I do agree that it is hard for a first timer. I thought maybe since you and Suzanne have shielded quite a few tears from both me and my wife that you were lead to say that in our presence, but I think we will see as the next few days come and go, that emotion is alive in all of us.
The nice thing is that God lead me to Philippians and then the superintendent sent me there a couple days later when I asked for any kind of guidance at a time like this. Paul was in a much different situation, but tough times have been dealt with at many different levels. I still feel that a part of me wants to say go, but come home if things aren't right. Then again, I guess a "complete release" helps to allow God to do exactly what he wants with the two of you. Either way, emotion will still be a factor. And yes 7 months goes fast for people of all ages.
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